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[a-gay-bloodmage]

AGB Femslash February Fanfiction Announcement!

Hello again, everyone! Coming back to yell words at you all to formally announce that I am once again taking on another month-long writing challenge!

This time, it’s all about the girls and the gays and the bisexuals and the occasional confused boy! Instead of waiting around for a Femslash February prompt list to drop, I decided to use the prompts provided by @loveofdragonage for their Love of DA 2025 event and just fulfill them by writing femslash-focused pieces. Just like AGBInk, I’ll be posting works from Origins, II, and Inquisition, with a wee bit of Veilguard sprinkled in. 

Beneath the Read More, I’ve attached a list of the prompts and a small summary of what the fic is going to be about. When the fics come out, unlike Inktober, they will have titles that are different from the prompt name!

I would love it if you gave the rest of this post a read-through to see if anything sounds interesting! My goal is to get everything posted to my Archive of Our Own on their assigned days with a tumblr post that links to the AO3 version. I will be reblogging the fics the next morning in case anyone missed it the evening before! I really hope that you all enjoy my work. Likes and comments and reblogs mean the world to me! 

Here are some links to posts about my Wardens, Inquisitors, and Rooks! 

Day 1: Life of Devotion

A letter arrives on the Spymaster’s desk. Despite her urge to burn what is certainly another letter from another thorn in the Inquisition’s side, she hesitates long enough to see Faelyn Tabris’ familiar penmanship. 

Day 2: Thought You Were Dead

Semiha Silva-Adaar has tried, her whole life, to be a good Andrastian despite her grey skin. Becoming the Herald of Andraste was a dream come true. And then she went into the Fade again. And now she doesn’t know how she was so stupid. 

Day 3: Queer Culture

After another evening of pressing their bodies together, Sera asks Kiora Trevelyan what knocking bits was like back in the Circle. A part of her wishes that she never asked. 

Day 4: Against All Odds

Semiha Silva-Adaar fought for her hand. That was several years ago, but Josephine is still yet to see her love in a wedding dress. She sets out to ask Bull the proper way to show a Qunari that she’s serious. 

Day 5: Playing Cupid

Hawke has been invited back to Merrill’s house for Wintersend. She doesn’t want to go alone. As a result, Anders and Justice are dragged along to be spectators to an afternoon of watching their first friend in Kirkwall pine after a blood mage. 

Day 6: Assassins

Faelyn Tabris is enthralled by everything that Leliana does. While talking with her new friend, Zevran, the topic of Leliana’s bardic talents comes up. While she isn’t initially sure if it’s the best idea, Leliana agrees to teach Faelyn a thing or two.

Day 7: Romantic Tension

Sera is convinced that Lady Mallie wants to get into her leggings. Mallory Trevelyan is convinced that Sera doesn’t know how to sew. Ultimately, somebody’s trousers are going to be on the floor. 

Day 8: Angry Because They Care

Kiora Trevelyan is a mage obsessed with the Fade and all it entails. She, more than most people, understands how impactful and frightening dreams of a lover dying can be. 

Day 9: Convoluted Confessions

The Inquisitor is weird. Pretty, but weird. Sera can’t tell if Kiora Trevelyan is flirting with her or not, and it’s driving her frigging insane. 

Day 10: Found Family

After being freed from his capture by Tevinter slavers, Cyrion Tabris allows his daughter to herd all of her new friends into their tiny apartment. He never expected to see his daughter alive again, let alone see her love again. 

Day 11: Mutual Pining

Marian Hawke is the nicest and prettiest shem that Merrill has ever met. Even if she’s really just met her. She’s coming over for a visit. Merrill hopes, desperately, that she doesn’t make a fool of herself. Are there particular rules of friendliness amongst shemlen that she doesn’t know yet? 

Day 12: Discovering Poly

After going against her better judgment and spending a night with Orest Mahariel, Velanna tries to stealth her way through the morning-after walk of shame. A certain peppy ex-Legion member catches her. On their way to breakfast, Velanna learns that, maybe, relationships aren’t as black and white as she thought. 

Day 13: Time for a Bath

Out in the Hinterlands, Harta Cadash, Varric Tethras, Dorian Pavus, and Sera stop by a pond. The girls take the chance to bathe. Harta knows that Sera has a thing for her, but she’s not foolish nor selfish enough to let a young, do-good girl like her fall for a woman in the Carta. 

Day 14: Courtship

It seems that Semiha Silva-Adaar has never been good with girls. As a Qunari raised amongst humans, she never got the chance to learn. When she comes to Blackwall for advice, he does his best to build her courage. There’s only one monster in that barn, and it’s not her. 

Day 15: Bickering

Velanna is sick and tired of that so-called Witch of the Wilds and her constant condescension. So, when she hears her name mentioned in a conversation between her and the Commander, Velanna can’t help but eavesdrop. 

Day 16: Duels

Josephine is engaged. It breaks Semiha Silva-Adaar’s heart to know that Josephine’s family would marry her off to someone she hasn’t ever met, but it isn’t unexpected. What is unexpected, however, is the idea that a duel with an Antivan Lord could wrestle Josephine’s heart back into the hands of the Qunari that loves her. 

Day 17: Platonic Flirting

Ishal Mercar is a flirt. She can’t help it. And when the world is falling apart, she wants to at least have a little fun. At least Neve is willing to play along.

Day 18: Awakening

Faelyn Tabris is still mourning the loss of her should-be husband Nelaros. When she tries to talk to Leliana about love, she learns some things about the world that she didn’t think were even possible. She might even be realizing a thing or two about herself. 

Day 19: Chantry Bashing

In a little house in Redcliffe, the ghost that trails after Kiora Trevelyan finally tells her what’s been helping them locate the shards. Sera doesn’t know what to do to keep it from breaking the woman she loves. But she tries.

Day 20: Lover is a BAMF

In a dirty hideout in Val Royeaux, the Red Jennies receive a letter from a Friend about the new Inquisitor. The Friend is convinced that this “Mallie” is almost too good to be true. She’s a looker, though. 

Day 21: War Table

Faelyn Tabris has never had a problem showing her love for Leliana in public. After spending so much time apart, she only has so much patience, and this “war table” is taking up far too much of her Birdie’s attention. 

Day 22: Crafting

After her arm is finally gone, Harta Cadash’s lover, Dagna, devotes herself to making her a new one befitting such a beautiful woman. Once it’s finally complete, they allow themselves to indulge in some light touches. And more. 

Day 23: Parties and Gifts

As a Circle mage, Kiora Trevelyan doesn’t have much experience at all when it comes to giving gifts. She’d never exactly had much to give. Therefore, it only makes sense to ask the members of the Inquisition what they’d recommend she give Sera to show her appreciation. 

Day 24: Rune Recipes

Nobody expected this “Arcanist” to be a dwarf, let alone such a sweet-faced one. Even if Dorian is one, it doesn’t take a genius to see that Harta Cadash has a thing for magical experts. 

Day 25: Crossovers / AUs

Hawke and Merrill are shaping up to be quite the cute couple. Isabela is fascinated, but she’s let down by the lack of steamy gossip and late-night chats. She decides to take matters into her own hands. 

Day 26: Black Sheep

Now that she’s fought for Josephine’s hand and won, sealed the Breach, lost her arm, and disbanded the Inquisition—listed in no particular order of importance, of course—Semiha Silva-Adaar can’t help but wonder if she can do anything to properly endear herself to the Montilyet family.

Day 27: Anchored to the Past (AGB Original Prompt)

Sera is used to being dragged into Kiora Trevelyan’s dreams. It’s one of the perks of dating someone so in love with the Fade. What Sera isn’t used to, however, is being dragged into Kiora’s nightmares. 

Day 28: Follower-Selected Pairing Day

Merrill smells good. Really, really good. Hawke knows that it’s probably a side effect of working more on her Reaver skills. But that doesn’t make it any less tempting.

[anamoon63]

Hi guys, I am writing this in case anyone wonders why I have been kind of MIA lately. No, I haven't forgotten you, but I have had a difficult week, more than a difficult week, I have been through a real ordeal. Where or how it started it's a long story which I don't have the time or the energy to tell, so I'll just share a brief chronology of what happened during this past week.

Friday May 3 - I turned in my finished work and set out to do my sims posts, play and rest for the weekend since more work would be coming my way on Monday.

Saturday May 4 - My husband came down with the flu, I spent most of the day with him in the emergency room.

Sunday May 5 - I spent it taking care of my husband, who fortunately no longer had a fever. I barely slept two hours at night giving care and medication.

Monday 6 May - My birthday, we couldn't go out for dinner as usual, so we celebrated at home.

Tuesday, May 7 - My son comes down with the flu, too, another afternoon in the ER and sleepless night caring for him and bringing down his fever.

Wednesday, May 8 - My son starts to feel better, and begins to recover very quickly. I start working on the following translations, at the same time I take care of both my husband and my sick son, do food, laundry, order home medicines, and all kinds of small chores, including disinfecting things. It's like going back to 2020.

Thursday, May 9 - My husband no longer has a fever but does have a cough that won't go away and minor problems with his asthma.

Friday, May 10 - Mother's Day, my son was feeling fine, my husband still had a cough, and had a doctor's appointment at noon, when he returned, we celebrated at home just like on my birthday, I spent the rest of the day working, and juggling a thousand other things. In the evening my daughter started to feel sick, but still no fever.

Saturday, May 11 (yesterday) - My daughter woke up with a fever, another visit to the ER. She was prescribed flu medicine, painkillers and rest, and sent home.

And that's my odyssey so far. On top of it all, from Wednesday through Saturday we were in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures of 37ºC with real feel of up to 45ºC; at night we get a "cooler" temperature of 29ºC. So imagine a person with a fever of 38 ºC and with this heat, obviously it's not of much help.

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten sick so far, but I'm not claiming victory. I have been taking care of my family for a week, sleeping two or three hours a night, getting up at different times to check on them, or give them medicine. I don't have time for getting sick! Lol. Thankfully, everyone is better and last night for the first time in a week I was able to sleep straight through. Honestly, I don't need many hours of sleep, but I am routinely and usually I am in bed a 11 pm and up at 8 am every day, so all this did upset my sleep cycle a little bit.

Anyway, that is the reason why I wasn't here much, since the whole day I was too busy, and at night I was so tired all I wanted was to go to bed. I apologize if I've fallen behind on your updates, I'm not ignoring you in any way, I just didn't have the strength or the time, not even to play The Sims. If I did, it was just a little free play to distract myself.

Last week I told you that I was juggling a lot of things, well now I have even more things, lol, at times I feel really exhausted, and even a little cranky from lack of sleep, the first few days my feet and legs hurt so much from going back and forth, but I'm fine, healthy, and in good spirits. Today I believe, as never before, that the universe does not send you more than you can handle.

At this point my family is already in recovery, if I don't get sick too, it's likely by I'll be able to get back to my simming routine. Now, if I do get sick, I hope to recover as quickly as the others. Whatever happens, I'll be around. Know that, even if I don't comment, I read you, and I am with you, especially with those who are going through difficult times of any kind.

Ok, I said to myself this was going to be a short post, but I made a wall of text instead (for a change). My apologies if it's written in a sloppy or confusing way, I just wanted to write it quickly to let you know where I have been and what has been going on with me these days. I hope you are all well, please take care of yourselves, health is a treasure that can be lost at any moment, the flu is a nasty disease, we must never let our guard down and forget to take the necessary measures to prevent it.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all of you who have mentioned me, tagged me, sent me asks and/or stars to my inbox, commented and/or liked what few posts I could do these days, I appreciate it very much and I'll try to reply to you as soon as I can, though I've fallen so far behind that I don't know if I'll be able to find your mentions in my notifications. In any case, thank you very, very much to all of you for thinking about me in my absence. �� I'll see you soon, hopefully, with more sim adventures, stay tuned!

[kanmom51]

Hi. I know you've talked a lot about the jikook number theory, and I MAY have found something? Emphasis on the MAY because I was bored and my delulu mind became active for a little while(sorry, not sorry🙇‍♀️).

Anyway, I stumbled onto a k-army's post on twt, according to which, one of the posts made by JM on June 15th at 23:23 about waiting for 2 more hours, meaning the 16th, means it would be 1108 since still with you was released(5th June,2023).

Now, as I said I was bored and it was past midnight here so I checked and it wasn't 1108 days since SWY. 1108 days from that date would me 18th of June, 2023, the day JK posted two selcas on weverse.

But I did find a couple of coincidences and I maybe totally out of my mind, but hear me out for a sec!

1. JM's post on the 15th was at 23:23 KST. It contained something about waiting for just 2 more hours. Which would mean 1:23 KST. (Reference to the infamous 123 jikook theory)

2. JK's selcas on the 18th of June marks 1108 days since still with you and it was posted at 11:39 KST. The numbers are a combination of various things. 11, their speculated anniversary month, 13 JM's birthday and both of their fav number and even JK's birthday can be found.

Was I so bored that I just overanalysed it? Was it all just a coincidence?

I'd honestly love to know your thoughts as well!

Ok, @beardedcolorduck so let's see where we are with this.

JK's Weverse post was posted 18 June 2023 11:39 am KST or 17 June 2023 7:39 pm or 19:39 LA time.

Still with you was released on 4 June 2020 or on June 5 2020.

See, there is a question mark regarding the date of release, or more like difference I am assuming that arises from the difference in time zones.

In any case I can't explain this:

When I share this link the date that shows is 4 June 2020.

When I go into the link the date that shows is 5 June 2020.

I can't explain it, maybe you guys know why (seeing that both of them are me writing from the same IP address in Australia).

Anyway, I digress.

If we count the days from 4 June 2020 to 17 June 2023 or from 5 June 2020 to 18 June 2023 (see, I'm assuming that the differences are due to the time zones) we get this:

Huh.

It works.

Interesting indeed.

Another coincidence do you think?

So yeah, not JM's post, but JK's post the one landing 1108 days after Still with you.

As for the numbers working otherwise, let's see what we can get.

If we look at the date alone as 17.6.23 we get 1+7=8 and 6+2+3=11

8/11

7:39 gives us 7+3+9=19

1/9

The next one is a bit far fetched I think, but then, again, I'm not taking this all too seriously (just to clarify - there are numbers that I do, this specific calculation I don't).

With the 19:39 we ate the 1+9=10 and we have the 3+9=12 bring that down to a one digit which will be 1+3=3

10+3=13

13

Now to your first insight.

JM's 23:23 post telling us to wait another 2 hours. I have to tell you that on the day that one puzzled me. I thought maybe something was coming, an announcement maybe. And when that didn't come I was baffled as to what was JM telling us. Was he waiting a couple of hours for JK to wake up? But then why mention it? JM is very precise as to what he mentions. Super calculated. There is always meaning behind it, even if we don't understand what that meaning is.

His 23:23 comment: Let's hold on for 2 hours. Just 2 hours.

Very specific, and repeating the 2 hours.

What you are suggesting is very interesting, you know?

23:23 plus 2 hours will bring us to 01:23, which is definitely giving us the 123.

The whole thing with the 123 theory is that we think we know where it originated (might have meant something to them way before but that's the first time it's mentioned) - Festa 2014 JM's profile Just one day MV at 1:23 min. represents him best. JK was by his side while filling out that profile. Since then we have had song recommendations ending at 1:23 min., posts timed at 12:30 or 1:23 am, posts on January 23rd etc. We know there is very possibly something going on with that sequence of numbers, but what it is exactly or more so, what it means to them exactly, we don't know.

Anyway, 123 is a very interesting result, and I definitley wouldn't put it past JM that this is what he was aiming for.

Another path with the numbers is:

1:23 16.6

We have the 1 from the time.

If we take the 2+3+1+6+6=18

1+8=9

You end up with:

1/9

Or the simpler path:

1:23 is just that: 123

And the date: 16.6 which easily is 1+6+6=13

123 and 13

I'm sure there is something I'm missing. Him repeating the 2 hours twice kind of makes me think maybe he was aiming for 3:23 am, but I can't seem to get the math mathing. Or maybe it is? Not sure how legitimate this one is with Karmy, but I'll put it out there anyway:

3:23 16.6.2023

6+2+3=11

1+6+2+2+3+3=17

1+7=8

11/8

Like I said, no idea if this is legitimate mathing, but it's fun and the numbers work.

End of the day, I have zero idea what JM was aiming for. All I am sure of is that he doesn't waste words with his posts, and he was clearly hinting to something.

[bayleaf-2]

Drew some art of the progression of Lyra's feelings about Ioun

But it's like 11 PM and I should sleep so I'm gonna post the art and make barebones captions/context, go to bed, and might just remake the post if i wake up, look at it, and go "voci. voci...voci thats not enough buddy"

With that in mind!

This is when Ioun apologized to Lyra after they were resurrected (they died in the Zehir fight) and (in my mind) the start of Lyra having. A closer relationship with her, or seeing her as more than just. (Because we legally cannot call Ioun our boss) the person in charge, hense why it's labeled "beginning." Their thoughts in that moment are general feelings of appreciation, surprise, and relief. Debated putting warmth in there as well. Probably too soon. Maybe. Idk!

Transcript: Lyra's dialogue reads "Tough!" which is what they said to the goddess of prosperity trying to offer them deals. Description reads "Loyalty to Ioun after she apologized."

Ioun apologizing combined with Emily inviting Lyra to stay with her once all of this was over (AUUUUUUUGH) pulled Lyra out of their mortality crisis, hence the design change! They're wearing old (aka Elion's) earrings and actually put effort into styling their hair :)

Transcript of the bottom one: Nerd <3 "I love her" (Connotation: I just think Ioun's neat :) ) "I need to apologize to her if we fail"

Nerd refers to this being the time where Lyra starts researching and interacting with the library. "I just think she's neat" is a reference to that one Marge meme. Point being the "I love her" is a casual declaration with no deeper feelings attached. "I need to apologize to her if we fail" is referencing this:

Now a disclaimer on that: I wrote that months ago and while the og idea still holds in that I was planning on doing it, I would absolutely tweak the wording now. Also that's from my writing server so the wording is mostly for me. in terms of what "today" and "everyone else didnt follow orders" means I think that was the Tiamat fight? Timing indicates it's Tiamat. I do not know what "orders" past Voci is referencing. It might be the deals thing. ANYWAY!!

General summary for that point: Closer but still not quite friends. That being said Lyra's more cheery around Ioun and seeking out talking to her just cause.

Transcript: Lyra thinking to themself "God I love her she's so cool" Description reads "Whale convo, which is almost directly post Vecna" (So Lyra is thinking that as Ioun's talking to them) and then the bottom one starts with "After Ioun leaves and they're just thinking" Lyra's thought reads "...Oh." with the description "Means [I love her] in a different way than before"

Squish! :) Congrats lil guy! You love her and now you gotta hide your feelings so you don't pressure her because that'd be really fucked up of you! Yeah that includes your thoughts! Good luck suppressing those! (HE FAILS. HE SLIPS UP SO MUCH I'M DYING TO TAKE PROPER NOTES ABOUT THAT SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

"Voci why is the 4th heart in the scale grey instead of black in the top one" Uhhh I'm not sure. I think it has to do with Lyra not really knowing what their feelings are?? Like it's vague and then once they're actually reflecting on it, they realize it's something more than just thinking Ioun's neat. Btw it's not clear in this shitty photo but Lyra is blushing.

Transcript: Ioun saying "I do care, by the way." Lyra verbally keysmashing in response, which is cut off by the tiny tiny page. Description reads "right after the trial".

We had a trial where Emily was trying to make a case about the wording of the curse so we wouldn't have to kill her and only temporarily banish her (and Ioun. And possibly the Raven Queen. And anyone else who ascended) outside of reality. It was a really formal court though so everyone was in like. Proper boring formal wear and Lyra went the safe route of going in a suit yes I know that collar looks scribbly I was drawing in front of a campfire okay

I??? This is hard to describe, but by this point, Lyra's feelings are deeper, like they weren't...flustered by Ioun before, at least not to the same extent, and now they are, if that makes sense. I hesitate to say their feelings got? Deeper or more intense, because the timing makes this extremely fucky. And also feels like I'm in the danger zone in terms of possibly using aphobic wording. So I'm just gonna hold off for now.

And there's another art I drew of. The dream conversation where Ioun and Lyra ended up holding hands for an enTIRE FUCKING HOUR but it wasn't finished and I think? That moment kind of speaks for itself? So I'll just. Leave that there and sleep now gn <3

Again apologies if huge chunks of this don't make sense this is one of those moments where the hyperfixation is just Taking the God Damn Reins and I Have To Show People This

[theemeraldforestafterdark]

I'm in two minds. I think I bailed from socials around this time for the past... 3 or 4 years. I just know there will be a barrage of triggers, and they're going to be remorseless this time around. But at the same time, I like seeing my mutuals and their posts. It does feel a bit like turning my back on people, which I don't like the feeling of.

Maybe I'll not plan anything. Just if and when. And if I do get badly triggered like that one last week, I'll log out and stay away. I wrote a sequel scene to that which is pinned on the hideout chair currently. It's set on solstice night (although the last little bit needs a rewrite). And I've got an idea for a third part, set on New Year's Eve. Although, I'm purposely not going to set that scene at any later than 10/11 pm. Just thinking about the 12 midnight year change moment is making me anxious... Then there will be a fourth and final part of the chair quadrilogy, where the Hideout returns. But I don't know if I want that, because this whole thing came about from badly wanting change in my life. And sure it was just a URL change and a shake up of the general emerald narrative, but you can see the psychology behind it. Anyway, I will post that second one on the solstice night, regardless.

[2dkapsddr]

December 9th, 2023 - WACCA Reverse, FN Festival

🚨🚨🚨 NEW PHONE ALERT 🚨 NEW PHONE ALERT 🚨🚨🚨

THAT'S RIGHT BITCHESSSS!!! I'VE FINALLY GOT A NEW PHONE AFTER 3 YEARS OF THIS S20 FE!!!!! and after EXTREMELY careful consideration over the past 2 months (+ saving up for it too www), i settled on and took home... the 15 PROMAX!!!! it was an extremely tough choice between the max and unmaxed: the former would give my thumbs more flexibility on arcaea, but the latter was just... better (at least in terms of battery and screen size and camera and whatever fgsdfsds)

What does this mean for all my scores? Well, it means that every single one of them (save for Takumi and other games where I'll use Guided Access) will have this annoying little bar at the bottom of the screen shouting "HEY EVERYONE I'M IN THE APPLE CLUB NOW"

But for real? It means my scores are gonna be BETTER, MORE CONSISTENT, MORE FREQUENT, INPUT DROPLESS, FREEEDOOOOOOOOM!!! But since I still need to install stuff and transfer all my files, all I can do with it right now is take pictures and use it to text. So I did half of that with this post coming out of work and going straight to round 1: with some WACCA SCORESSSS

IMASUUGU KOWASHIITE KONNA SEKAI DE WA MADAMAADAAA TARINAI KARAAA AAAAAAAA (sorry they're all in 4:3, still didn't know how to preserve camera aspect ratio when opening and closing the camera app)

but despite the massive wall of text, it's not over yet... for a new rhythm game finally released to take the world by storm (unfortunately)...! it's... ROCK BAND 5!!!! (fortnite festival (eugh))

wasn't sure how this'd play out since i missed the eminem concert event that had a gameplay sneak peak, but i went into it at 11 PM after finishing work and getting home safely, and YOOOO IT'S EXACTLY LIKE ROCK BAND 5!!!! only without the controllers and stuff but they're already adding support for it

anyways WHO CARES I'M TIRED OF WRITING!!! CHECK OUT MY FIRST AND COOL SICK WORLD RECORD SCORES FROM THE MODE

[thelastadventureblog]

*Note: this was meant to be posted one year ago during my trip to Chicago, but then life happened, I guess. I'll try to catch up over the next few days.*

Chapter 6: The Brown Line

Tuesday, August 16th 2022

10:26 AM

I have managed to loop the block trying to walk to a sandwich shop, turning right out of Union Station when I should have hanged a left. It seemed that everyone along the sidewalk was very sharply dressed in business attire. I will have to assimilate later. I wasn't able to change into something fresh with my clothes stowed in the baggage car on the trip up here.

10:32 AM

I'm sitting in a Potbelly sandwich shop, eating an Italian Sandwich with hot sport peppers and pickles. This is quite a tasty sandwich, and much better than anything on the train anyway. I will consider coming back here another time.

After finishing my meal, I walk up to the cashier and ask about the restroom. He tells me the restrooms are out of order. That won't do, so I leave on a new quest. I'll try to take one of the trains to my next location. There's the red line, the brown line, and the blue line. Maybe more, but I didn't take a close enough look on Google maps.

11:07 AM

Somehow, I have gotten myself lost. I guess that's what I get for not planning every aspect of this trip. I still need to use the restroom at this point. While I could have just gone back inside Union Station, by this point I had already made it to the Underground. Waiting outside the stairs to the blue line was a bus, idling patiently. No surprise to myself, the Underground Theme from Mario Bros plays in my head. What's going to be down there waiting for me? Will there be rats? Thieves? Generally mean people? Goombas? Turns out it's nobody. Not even someone to tell me what to do.

I figured to slap my phone against the reader on the turnstile to pay the fee. I hear a click, and move forward, lifting my suitcase up and over the steel bars of the now locked turnstile. Facing me now is a gate with a revolving door. I pull my luggage through, but the corner of the luggage gets stuck in the door, and now someone is behind me looking very disappointed and annoyed. Pushing back and then forward frees my duffle bag and bulky green suitcase, and I step through. I apologize, but he rolls his eyes at me. Hard! Oh he meant that!

There are only two directions to go, so I walk right and head up the stairs, ending up in front of the same idling bus from a few minutes ago. Well, that was pointless! Consider that fare a $5 a tip, Chicago.

11:30 AM

Frustrated and too embarrassed to take the steps back down to the Underground, I take a different approach. I take a good, hard look at my Google maps app and walk in the direction it tells me to. However, it's not too long before the weight of my bag and suitcase becomes unbearable. I sit on a garden wall near a styrofoam plate of half eaten food and order an Uber. My stomach growls and I am stricken with panic. I will have to squeeze.

11:45

Although the app didn't have a good lock on my location, my driver found me. Venancio, My Uber driver, listens to me talk about my struggle with the revolving door. I doubt he understood my ramblings--very few do-- but he did get me to the Medieval Torture Museum, so I tip him well.

Sweating profusely at this point, I buy a ticket and leave my luggage with the clerk. This was a self-guided tour, so first thing I did was guide myself just past the brazen bull to the restrooms. Some sort of device used to constrain male genitalia let me know I was in the correct room.

Ah, sweet relief! After doing my business, I kill some time looking at the bloodied dummy corpses and twisted iron instruments used for torture. I can't believe humans are this sick. It truly takes a disturbed individual to come up with these kinds of things. Many of the devices and methods I saw where implemented in the name of religion.

3:24 PM

After grabbing coffee and a donut, I consider taking the brown line to the hostel I booked. However, dreading the underground, I decide to take a bus instead. Feeling bedraggled by my burdensome luggage, I decide to find the 151. "Excuse my sir, can you--", I hear to my right as I pass a woman in her early 20's. I take a sneaky look back at her. My time in New Orleans has prepared me for people on the street asking for change or trying to lure me into an alley. Which is to say, I move with purpose and avoid eye contact. It doesn't feel very good to do, but it does save me some time and helps ensure my safety in some situations.

A bus ride, and another walk later, I step inside the Chicago Getaway Hostel. Friendly faces greet me from behind the large white desk. The two gentlemen take a deposit from me, tell me about the continental breakfast, the common kitchen, and the lounge. In the lounge there are several tables and long sofas for sitting, a pool table, a foosball table, and den with a TV. Attached on the opposite end of the lounge is the kitchen. Guests are allowed to cook in the kitchen before Midnight.

I take the keycard from one of them and ride the elevator up to the third floor where my room is. There is plenty of space for one person, and the room is modestly decorated with a minimalist but mature approach. I like it. There is a red racing stripe along windowed wall, and stencils of cassette tapes on the wall nearest the bunk bed that I have all to myself.

3:30 PM

I'm in the bathroom now. I brought with me a change of clothes, my toiletries, and a fresh towel. Upon my disrobing, I notice, to my horror, a thin brown stripe running down the crack of my white shorts. Oh my god! How long had I been walking around like this? Had people been staring at me and I hadn't noticed? Standing nude, I bring the shorts up to my face to sniff them. I wince as I brace for the worst, but all I can smell is dirt and the light musty odor of having sat in a train for 16 hours. Were they like this on the train? How many of my 5 hours of walking around downtown chicago did I have a brown stain on my shorts? I washed them off in the sink. Whatever if was, it came out very easily. Crisis averted? Maybe nobody noticed. At the very least, nobody would remember me.

[thatonecoryosimp]

And They Were Roommates, Your Honor Trapped in A New World. Part 2

Hello, my darlings! I hope you're doing well. I'm starting this at 3 in the morning on the day I'm supposed to post this! Yay! I am going to start grammar checking, though. Since I've never bothered to go back and edit the things I wrote, reading my writing feels like a chore. Also, my pride converse are arriving today and I'm very excited. (They got here lmao.)

I can't believe I just finished this :( (It's currently 11:45 Pm.)

Series Masterlist

7/6/2022

Words: 1,133

The two men gave me a funny look before glancing back at Dream. 

“What happened to your clothes?” I immediately noticed the thick British accent the voice held. I looked at him. Blue shirt. Deep brown hair. Weird white glasses. 

“She fell in a river,” Dream answered before I could. I shot him a glare. 

“I can answer for myself, thank you.” 

The other man on the couch snorted, “Yeah, Dream, let the lady talk.” Black hair. White headband. Flame shirt. He pushed himself off the couch and sauntered over to me. He flashed a stunning smile and reached for my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I’m Sapnap. It’s lovely to make your acquaintance.” 

I chuckled softly, pulling back and pretending to courtesy. I told him my name and that it was lovely to meet him. I heard footsteps to my side and glanced over. The man in the blue shirt was standing next to me with a boyish grin. 

“I’m guessing you’re George?” 

“Yeah, I am. I’m happy to have you. I’ve been stuck with these idiots alone for God knows how long.” 

Sapnap huffed and Dream let out an annoyed “Hey!” While George started laughing. 

I started looking around the small room and noticed a few beds in the corner, there was a small space between each of them so they weren’t directly touching. George followed my gaze and then looked back at me. 

“We have some extra wool so we can make you a bed, too,” George said as he walked over to a wood block with a grid on it. 

“Yeah, that way you won’t have to sleep with one of us or on the uncomfortable couch,” Dream added as he walked over to a chest and started rummaging around. 

“I mean I wouldn’t mind you sleeping with me,” Sapnap said with a grin as he leaned a bit closer. 

“Sapnap! You’re gonna scare her off!” George huffed. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at their dynamic as I strolled over to George. 

“What’s this?” I questioned as I sat my hands on the wood. 

“It’s a crafting table. You can make things with it if you have the right materials.” 

I watched as he set some white wool across the middle and then wood along the bottom. After a moment, a fully-fledged bed appeared. Geroge picked it up and walked over to the other three beds. He placed it on the ground and it grew to a size comparable to the others. 

“Has anyone questioned the logistics of how that actually works? "I asked. 

“We have,” Sapnap started, “but none of us have really figured it out yet. Don’t think we’re gonna be able to anyway.” 

I nodded. Dream walked past me and looked out the window. 

“It’s starting to get dark already,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. He looked over at me, “For the next couple days we’re gonna be teaching you the basics. Okay?” 

“I mean, sounds good to me,” I answered with a shrug. 

Dream pushed his arms over his head and sighed. 

“I’d say it’s best to get an early night’s rest so we can make the best out of tomorrow.” 

“I agree," George said with a hum as he walked over to the bed in the corner. He pulled off his glasses and sat them on a small wooden surface before falling back on the sheets. 

Sapnap glanced around for a second. 

“I’ll get the food ready tonight.” 

Dream quickly jumped in. 

“Nope, I’ll make dinner. You’re not starting a fire again.” 

“It was an accident!” Sapnap called but Dream just brushed by him. 

Sapnap let out an annoyed groan before tumbling into the middle bed in an unceremonious flurry of movement. 

Geroge and I laughed as he ended up tangled in the sheets and fell out onto the floor. 

“It’s not funny!” 

But neither of us listened as we just continued laughing. 

“Alright, children.” Dream huffed as he walked over with two plates in his hand before handing them to Sapnap and George, “here’s your dinner.” 

“Thanks dad!” Sapnap called. I heard Dream sigh and shake his head before speed walking back to the furnace. He brought two more plates and handed one to me before plopping on the bed closest to mine. 

Dinner was pretty silent after that. I could hear George and Sapnap bickering about something but I wasn’t really sure what it was about. 

Dream was completely lost to the world as he scribbled something down in a small book, occasionally taking bites of his food. 

I was left pondering to myself about how I had even gotten to this place as I chomped on the bread Dream had prepared. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder. 

“Here,” Dream handed me a piece of paper I’m guessing he ripped out of his book, “It’s a list of the things we’re going to teach you.” 

I looked down at the piece of parchment. 

“Tomorrow: Wood Chopping with Dream. Fishing with Sapnap. Crafting with George. 

Day after: Hunting with Dream. Mining with Sapnap. Construction with George. 

Next day: Swordsmanship with Dream. Archery with Sapnap. Knife throwing with George. 

Last day: Farming with Dream.” 

“That’s a lot to learn,” I mumbled. I heard Dream chuckle. 

“You’ll figure it out, you’ve got some amazing teachers, after all.” his tone was cocky and playful and it made me smile. 

“Last I checked two of my teachers couldn’t even get along.” 

“We heard that!” They both called in unison and I started laughing, falling back on the bed. 

I turned to Dream after a second. 

“What should I do with my plate?” 

“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” he replied as he stood up and took both our plates to a small counter and sat them down. 

“Why don’t you offer to take our plates?” Sapnap pouted. 

“Because we aren’t pretty girls,” George answered. 

“You sayin’ I ain’t pretty?” 

“Yes. And I’m also saying you’re not a girl.” 

“I can be whatever I want to be.”  

“Anything but pretty.” 

“Will you two shut it?” Dream finally snapped as he laid back down. “I want to sleep peacefully tonight.” 

That was the end of it. I was genuinely surprised that they stopped talking that quickly. 

George and Sapnap put up their plates before laying down and getting ready to sleep. 

I sunk under the covers and closed my eyes. 

“I can’t wait till we finish the bedrooms,” Sapnap mumbled. 

I heard George let out a little hum of agreeance before the room went silent. 

I tucked my arm under my pillow and yawned. I closed my eyes and soon found myself slipping into unconsciousness.  

I’m just glad that my clothes dried within the first hour of being out of the river. 

~~~

Hello, my darlings! I'm on time. (Maybe a tad late, but still on time!) I promise I'm gonna get better at updating later in the day. (In my time zone).

Stay safe, and drink water.

Love you,

~Jules <3

Next Part >

[vanaera]

So I guess I am back

Hello, this is just a random update. It's been so long. I think I left this blog inactive for 2 years(?). So...basically life happened. I graduated from uni, struggled in the last 2 years of uni, and now I'm in my 1st year in law school.

Anyways, I'm here just to let ya'll know I'm still alive and I'm still planning to finish my ongoing fics (especially The Heart Holiday and TPAHR). I missed my babies so much.

For those who waited for me, thank you so much for your patience and I apologize for this super late notice and quite tired(?)-sounding post. Law school messed up my sleeping schedule and I sleep an average of 3 hours daily so I hope for your kind understanding.

So for just a quick catch-up on what I've been up to before I left this app:

🌸 I had COVID in 2021 and I almost delayed myself from graduating bc I was so sick and I was struggling with my thesis that I felt the need to drop it. Luckily, I didn't drop it and I was able to finish it on time. Big shout out to my family who knew I would hate myself if I didn't graduate on time and supported me all throughout my thesis era. Ya girl is a Magna Cum Laude graduate 🏅

🌸 I applied for law school, not really thinking I would get in (bc I was already dying bc of my thesis and the review period starts the same period of my thesis writing). I just applied for the experience so if I fail, at least I already know how to answer the exam for the following year. So I was shocked that not only did I pass, I was able to get into the top law school in my country.

🌸 I rekindled my love for watching anime and reading mangas/manhwas/manhuas. I've been in love with these stuff since I was 6 yrs old and they helped me keep sane in the past 2 years.

🌸 I love Haikyuu and I've been an avid fanfic reader of Haikyuu fics. It's amazing and I enjoyed myself a lot so expect some reblogs of anime-related content.

🌸 Last anime watched: Chainsaw Man

🌸 Last manhwa read: We are not Dating

🌸 I still love BTS and I listen to their music although I'm not as active as a fan like I used to be. I also started stanning groups like ATEEZ and The Boyz.

🌸 I started getting into Western shows (sorry, Kdramas took up the entire 20 years of my life) and oh my god, I love Breaking Bad and that show is hands-down one of the best I've ever seen. Better Call Saul is amazing (tho I haven't finished this yet) and Stranger Things is also cool.

🌸 Currently enjoying my subjects Criminal Law and Civil Law. I hate Political Law bc it's kinda draining and the cases are boring and my god the great disparity of page numbers in Political Law cases - they're either 10 pages long or 185 pages long and I have to read them all (they're 11 Arial, single spacing, narrow margin).

That's all for tonight as it's already 11:52 PM here and I have to get back to studying. Anyways, it's great to see ya'll again and I can't wait to start writing again in this blog! 🤗💖 Have a good week ahead, cuties! I'm wishing you all the best in your school/work/other stuff you're doing! 🍀💗🍀💗

[definesanity]

Hello, hello, everyone!

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My name is Ryuusei, your everyday simp for uh. At this point I'm not even sure anymore. Robot girls??? Women??? Monster girls???

Alternatively, you may know me as "That Idiot". If not, then good! You haven't seen the horrors yet and can leave at any time.

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I do hope that you can forgive my messy style of writing. I, ah. Have no excuse anymore.

That and procrastination is trying to marry me. Help.

Update: We are now married with three children. PLEASE SEND MORE HELP.

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I write for Genshin Impact & SAGAU (unfortunately) Drakengard 3, NieR, Reverse: 1999 and CRYSTAR, please send me asks I am lonely.

Amendment: Check out the 'Rules O' The Blog for more information that I forgot to post here because I might be stupid.

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1. I prefer write the game's mentioned and their women, mostly out of personal preference, and, no offence, the lack of blogs who do so scare me slightly.

Amendment: All of my posts are gender-neutral, so that you can imagine it as either male, female, non-binary or none-specific. Not to turn people away, it's just so things are more open to others.

Not promising anything but hey. If you like yuri please yap at me.

Amendment 2, 18|19/11/2023: I also write for Cassette Girl from Friday Night Funkin', so feel free to ask about her, too (Did a vote. Anyways),

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2. I'm terrible at understanding what people like or dislike, at least when it comes to my writing just expect anything. It's bound to be either wholesome or smut, no in-between. Or sometimes a secret third thing. (Angst)

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3. My pronouns are he/him, but I don't mind they/them either.

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4. YIPPIE

(Note: This means if you want smut come and ask me; chances are I'll be open to pretty much any and every yuri pairing, so feel free to ask. Please ;-; /lh)

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Well, I hope you can enjoy my writing! (If not, then, well, I tried. Can't say I didn't.)

--Navias Philip Ryuusei.

*Requests are, at the moment, Open!

(They have been open for the last/past two years ;-;)

Ryuusei's Thoughts: Yapping

Ryuusei's Replies: Replies to. Asks.

Ryuusei's Reblogs: I see funni. I like and reblog.

Ryuusei's Secrets: Literally just smut. Watch your footing please.

Added: 'Past' 23/8/24 at 23:46 PM.

[green-socks]

Tumblr Writer Q&A

Thank you for the tag @lacontroller1991!! This was fun!

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? I have three oneshots complete that I haven't posted yet, two of them I'm planning to post at some point soonish tho!

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? 2 series and 6 oneshots (that I'm serious about rn).

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? I don't officially take requests usually, but sometimes I could be prompted. I mostly do what pops into my head at any given moment.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? I have 3 sitting in my inbox from the one time I did ask for them and I am so sorry for being the slowest ever omg.

5) How many fandoms do you write for? Uhh mostly it's Pedro Pascal Cinematic Universe boys and Triple Frontier. Some drabbling Star Wars, Narcos, DCU stuff going on at times.

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? No

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? Mostly reader inserts, some OC too, haven't tried ships yet but I would really like to!

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? Don't think I have those? Unless writing for a dude from a wine commercial counts?

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? Hell yes! I read much more than I write!

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? Fluff. Is that a genre? Anyway, that.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? To read: friends to lovers probably. Just gimme the pining. To write: hmmm. I don't think I have a favorite trope for writing. It depends so much on what I'm doing.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? Nothing, I guess? Lol I just write when I write XD

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? I don't really write angst/whump, although I also read those more rarely than fluff or smut for example. I do prefer reading smut to writing it.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? Nah, if I get an idea to write something and want to do it, I'll do it.

15) How long have you been writing fan fiction? Almost a year now! I started in march of last year!

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Of course! Lots and lots of it, for years.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? I have an AO3 account but so far I've only posted one of my fics there bc lazy lol.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of "Drabble", "One shots" and "fics"? For me drabbles are maybe anything below 700 words, oneshots are technically anything that is more than a drabble and not in two or more parts, and then, to me, fics are any and all of it. Fics are fics.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? I mostly write oneshots, and prefer those, but I have done all the others too!

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? No. My series are on an accidental hiatus, but definitely not discontinued.

21) What is one of your main "pet-peeves" as a writer on Tumblr? Fortunately I haven't faced any nasty behavior myself, but it does pain me to see other writers treated like they are basically expected to cater to everyone's needs at the same time. It's just not possible to do, and people need to learn to live with that.

22) Do you write a particular time of day? Usually from 10:30 pm to 2 am is my time to shine, but recently I have tried to write during the day/evening too, just so I can go to bed at a reasonable hour lol.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? I always have headphones on to block out possible noises from my partner lmao, but there's nothing coming through the headphones. I have tried listening to music or white noise a couple of times, but usually silence is the best.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? Yes, especially if it's a multi part or a long oneshot. Stuff below 2.5k words, no.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? I never schedule, usually when it's done I want it out and over with right away hahah.

I'm tagging @writeforfandoms @oonajaeadira @hopeamarsu @kesskirata @rayslittlekitten @mandocrasis and anyone else who would like to do this!

[trekkiehood]

How Long? (Part 5) - Spn Fanfic

Title: How Long?

Fandom: Supernatural

Author: @pricelesstrashpanda and @trekkiehood

Part: [1] [2] [3] [4] 5/10

Words: 2.8k

Setting: Preseries - Stanford Era

Characters: Dean, Bobby, Sam, John

Ship: None

Ao3 Link

Summary: Dean hasn’t seen or heard from his family in over a year. After one too many ignored phone calls, Dean decides he’s better off dead than alone. Bobby disagrees.

Trigger Warnings: Depression, Loneliness, Self-harm, Suicide

Authors Note:

Hey hey hey! Guess who forgot to upload today!!! Us. It was us. So here I am, making myself semi-useful for once, at 11:48 PM (my time). So technically it's still today for me, but it probably isn't for most of you. Sorry about that. But here it is now. Hopefully it'll be worth the wait.

- Line

Sorry I wasn't able to update last night. Today was the first day of classes and I didn't think about it until like midnight and by that point I was in need of sleep. I'm still gonna try to post the next chapter tonight, so it's an even shorter wait for you guys.

Anyway, here you go. Sorry lol

-Jamie

~~~

Bobby wasn’t sure how long he sat in the waiting room, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He could have been doing research, prepping for a case, but he simply didn’t have it in him. And anyway, he didn’t want Dean doing any hunting any time soon, so that would most likely mean taking a break himself as well.

At one point, his own cell phone started ringing. He saw Ellen’s name and realized guiltily that he’d forgotten to keep her updated as he’d promised. Not that he had much of an update to give, particularly considering the vague story he’d told her in the first place. But he thanked her for her help and told her he thought Dean was going to be alright. He was trying to convince himself as much as her.

At long last, a young nurse emerged through two swinging white doors, looking around a moment before her eyes landed on Bobby.

She crossed to where he was sitting, taking the seat beside him so she was closer to ask softly, “Are you the one with the son? The son who…” She swallowed hard, touching her own wrist.

Bobby nodded, unable to speak because he wasn’t breathing.

The girl offered him a small smile. “He’s going to be okay.”

A heavy weight lifted from Bobby’s chest, and suddenly, it was all he could do to keep from crying.

“They’ll keep him here for a day or two to restore his blood loss,” she continued. “Then they’ll most likely recommend in-patient psychological treatment. But that’s for you and him and the doctor to talk about.”

As much as Dean probably needed it, Bobby knew he’d never forgive him if he checked him into a treatment facility. But he guessed he’d have to cross that bridge when they came to it.

“He’ll be asleep for a while, but you can go sit with him if you’d like. I just need you to fill out some paperwork…”

She sounded sorry to ask, but Bobby just nodded. It wouldn’t be the first time in the past few months that he filled out that paperwork. Fake IDs and information would get them out the door, and by the time they realized it, they’d be long gone.

Twenty pages of fiction about Robert and Dean Smith later, the nurse was leading him down a hallway and into a room that was much too quiet, the eerie stillness broken only by semi-steady beeping.

Lying on his back on the hospital bed, Dean looked unbelievably young and terribly broken. His face was pasty and hollow. He obviously hadn’t been eating enough. The dark circles under his eyes testified that he hadn’t been sleeping enough, either. The bruises visible above the bandage on his arm and on the other one said he’d either not been at his best the past few hunts, or he’d been purposefully careless. Maybe both.

“Is there anything I can get you?” the nurse asked him as he slowly lowered himself into the chair beside the bed.

He shook his head, trying to conjure up a smile for her. “No. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, much more convincingly returning the expression. “My name’s Tara. I’ll be taking care of Dean today. I’ll be back to check on him in a little while, but if you need anything before then, just press that button there.”

He nodded, repeating, “Thank you,” and then she left.

She was a pretty young woman. Maybe a little older than Dean, but not by much. It hurt something deep inside Bobby to think that the way he was right now, Dean probably wouldn’t even notice.

That beeping was going to drive him insane.

He reached over to the radio on the nightstand, flicking it on and seeking through the channels until he found a classic rock station. If there was anything that could make Dean rest a little easier, it was good music.

Bobby once again lost track of time. Tara stopped in three times, but he didn’t know if she was visiting every hour or every half hour or some other number in between or even if the same amount of time passed between each.

But a few minutes after she left from the third, Bobby heard a soft moan from the bed beside him.

He looked that way sharply, and saw Dean’s face twitching, his eyelids tightening like he didn’t want to wake up.

Then again, the hunter reflected sadly, he probably didn’t.

Finally, eyelashes fluttered once, then again, then an unbandaged arm slowly came up to shield the boy’s face, despite the fact that the lights in the room were dim at best.

Dean looked around with clear confusion on his face. His eyes locked with Bobby’s, and Bobby offered him a weak smile.

“Hey, Kid.”

“Wha…” The word was barely audible, forced through a dry throat. It stopped short as horrible realization flooded across his face. His eyes snapped shut. “No.”

Bobby took a breath to say something, but Dean was speaking again before he could.

“No… no, this is not happening. No!” Self-loathing dripped from every word as the young man’s voice raised from whisper to yell with the increasing weight of realization.

“Dean…” Bobby started, but the young man cut him off again, this time directly.

“Why, Bobby?” The hoarse anger in his tone was overridden by pain he couldn’t hide. “Why couldn’t you just let it go?”

“Because I care about you, Dean,” he replied steadily. “Way too much to let you throw your life away because your idjit family can’t pick up the phone.”

“They can pick up the phone!” the boy snapped. “They do! Both of their stupid voicemails promise to! It’s just me! Not them! Just… I just… I don’t know what I did wrong.” The last part came out terribly small.

Bobby sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Alright? You’ve done everything right for both of them your entire life. If they can’t see that, that’s on them. Not you.”

“They’re not the ones who are alone!” Tears began to stream down Dean’s face despite what were obviously his best efforts to keep them at bay. “I… everything hurts, Bobby! I didn’t know it was freakin possible for life to feel like this! I can’t do it anymore! I tried, but I… I can’t, okay? I can’t do it.”

“I know it hurts, Son,” Bobby replied quietly. “Course it does. Life has always hurt for you, and now you’ve been facin’ it all alone for a year. But that’s over, alright? You don’t hafta be alone anymore.”

“So what then?” A slightly manic note crept into Dean’s voice. “I’m just your problem now? You just get to babysit me for the rest of my God forsaken life cuz if you don’t you know I’ll go swallow a bunch of pills like a freakin’ school girl?”

“Dean…”

“I wasn’t trying to get your attention, alright? I wasn’t trying to get Dad or Sam’s attention! I just wanted to know if they even cared! But they don’t! And if they don’t…”

“I do, Dean!” Bobby tried. “I know you’re havin’ a hard time believin’ that right now, but I care about you a whole heck of a lot more than I think you can even understand.”

“No, I know… I know you do, Bobby, and I’m sorry!”

And he did sound sorry… like he considered caring about him the greatest curse a person could be burdened with.

“But I… Dad told me my only purpose was to look out for Sammy and watch his back on hunts. Well Sam left!”

He said the words like he’d been refusing to say them for a long time, refusing to think about it, but now he finally couldn’t pretend they weren’t true any longer.

“He doesn’t need me anymore, and he certainly doesn’t want me around! And then Dad left and won’t meet up and doesn’t want me to hunt with him. So he doesn’t need me either! That’s everything I’ve ever been good for, everything I've ever known, gone!”

He hiccuped a little, but pressed ahead.

“So what... How... I don't know how to do anything else, Bobby! They've been gone a year and I still feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I'm not doing something I'm supposed to. Like something is wrong with me, and no amount of alcohol or hunting can fix me."

He swiped angrily at the water still running down his face.

“I tried, okay? I… I drank, and I hunted, and I drank, and I hunted, and I… I did it for a year. Three-hundred-sixty-five miserable freakin days, and nothing worked! Nothing is going to fix me! I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to put a bullet in my head! I hunted that ghost in Abilene, and then I packed up like I was supposed to, and I started to drive like I was supposed to.”

The words were those of a tired soldier who’d forgotten what he was fighting for and had been bled dry of his capacity to march through Hell because he’d been doing it since he was four years old.

“But I got here,” he continued, his hands spread helplessly, “and the highway ended, and I had to pick another one, but I couldn’t! I couldn’t… I couldn’t live another day like this! But then I did, because you asked me to, and nothing changed! It’s not going to change! And I’m not gonna be some little abandoned dog that you have to take care of for the rest of your life because his owner used to dump him off at your house when he got sick of him!”

“Dean, Son, listen to me.” Bobby reached out, placing a hand on the boy’s cheek to pull his eyes up to his. “You are good for a whole lot more than beatin’ yourself black and blue for your brother and your daddy. You are the best hunter I’ve ever met, and you’ve got a bigger heart than anyone I know. You fix cars like nobody’s business. You’re gonna do a lotta people a lotta good, in the life or out of it, because that’s who you are, you hear me?”

“You are the only one who thinks that!” Dean choked out between sobs, squeezing his eyes shut in a hopeless attempt to hold the water back. “And you’re wrong! Okay? I’m sorry, but you are! You’re the only person in the world who thinks I’m good for anything or worth a stupid freaking phone call, and you’re wrong!”

“Dean…” Bobby started, but he was cut off by a light tap on the door frame.

Though it seemed to take an effort to do it, Dean pulled back from Bobby’s hand, apprehension that was almost childlike flooding his face as he looked that way.

Tara appeared after a second, quick to offer her patient a smile when she saw him.

“You’re awake!” She offered him her hand. “Dean, right?”

The boy shook it and nodded with hesitation that once again resembled that of a child.

“I’m Tara, I’m your nurse for the day. How do you feel?”

Dean’s eyes dropped to the bed sheets, heavy with shame. “I, uh… I’m okay.”

“How’s your arm?” she pressed. “We have your on some pain medication, but I’m not sure if the dose is strong enough. Does it hurt?”

He shrugged a little. “Yeah. But I guess that’s what happens when you slice it open like an idiot, huh?” The attempt at humor was more like the Dean Bobby knew, but the tone was just so broken.

“You know what, though?” Tara asked seriously. “We all make mistakes. And me and the other people here and your dad…” She indicated Bobby. “We’re all here to help you, alright? So I’m gonna go get the doctor, and she’s gonna get you on some more pain meds, and you guys can talk about what you need after we get some blood back in you. Okay?”

She smiled down at him, and as he looked up at her with those broken green eyes, Bobby saw another hint of the Dean Winchester he knew… just a little loopy and staring at a very pretty girl and managing just the tinge of a smile, nothing more than a twitch of one corner of his mouth, in return. “Okay.”

~~~

“Dean?”

He knew he should respond. Bobby knew he was awake. If he couldn’t tell by looking at him then the monitors were giving him away.

“Dean?”

He rolled his head to the left, looking at Bobby in that stupid plastic chair. At least it wasn’t empty. It was usually empty.

“Dean, Son, are you hearing me?”

Dean searched his face before nodding.

“Okay, okay good.”

He wasn’t catatonic. They acted like he was. He could hear and see and process. Didn’t mean he wanted to.

“The doctor said we could head back. You’d have to stay with me for awhile but-”

Dean couldn’t help the light scoff that passed his lips as he turned back to stare at the ceiling. He didn’t need to be babysat. He didn’t want to be babysat. If he could find his voice he’d say so.

“Dean,” Bobby sighed, “I know it’s not what you want, but the alternative is…” he trailed off.

The alternative was a friggin’ asylum. The doctors could call it what they wanted, therapy, “treatment center”, they hadn’t used the word “psycheward” to his face but he’d heard it whispered. Staying with Bobby was truly the best case scenario. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Dean.”

He jumped at the voice, jerking to look at Bobby again.

“You back with me?”

Dean looked away.

Another loud sigh to his left, “I know you don’t want to, but we’ve got to talk about this.”

Dean shrugged.

“The doctor said she’ll release you tonight if you feel ready.”

Another shrug.

“Dean, you don’t have to talk to me, but if you want to get out of here you can’t ignore me.”

Dean let out a sigh of his own, turning his head to the side. He opened his mouth and tried to force words to come out. The look of hope in Bobby’s eyes hurt. Especially when he realized nothing was going to come out. Bobby’s face fell but tried to hide it. Kinda just made it feel worse.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk, he just couldn’t. It was like he had used all of his words up and had to wait for them to recharge. He hated it.

“I can sign the papers but I need to know if you’re up for it. It’s gonna be a long drive and I need to know if you can handle it.”

He didn’t answer, just watched Bobby wait for an answer. Using his right hand, he started to push himself up. A grunt escaped as he struggled and Bobby was on his feet, helping Dean while using the remote to move the bed.

Dean felt guilty. Guilty about it all. He still didn’t… regret it. Waking up? Yes. That he regretted. But he didn’t regret trying. But he still felt guilty. He felt guilty about what it was doing to Bobby. Felt guilty that he didn’t want to get better. Felt guilty that Bobby was stuck taking care of him. He even felt guilty that he couldn’t get his voice to work.

He didn’t want to be taken care of. He wanted to be left alone.

They had been making progress. That’s what everyone had been saying. And he’d faked along with it. ‘Til his throat closed up and he went mute. Then there had been no use faking it. Everyone knew.

That’s why it was a shock that they were letting Dean go home. Bobby had shut down the idea of sending him away pretty quickly. He should be thankful for that, he guessed.

Then again maybe a psycheward was where he belonged.

“Dean.”

His eyes met Bobby’s before quickly flitting away. He let out a breath, before signaling for something to write with.

Bobby’s eyes lit up as he found some paper and a pen. The older man held it out and waited for Dean to accept it.

Dean took it, dropping it on his lap. He didn’t even try to move his left hand, it was so heavily wrapped he wasn’t sure it’d be of any use to him right now anyway. And it hurt. He picked up the pen and clumsily wrote.

I’m fine.

Bobby actually laughed. “You’re many things, boy, but fine ain't one of them.”

I can go.

He wrote instead.

Bobby nodded, “Okay, okay good. I can get the paperwork and have you out of here by tonight.”

Dean nodded, tapping the pencil against the paper.

Sam call?

The second he wrote it he regretted it.

Darkness clouded Bobby’s expression. “Don’t worry about him, Dean. Just focus on getting better.”

That was answer enough.

“We’ll leave tonight, okay? Just let me get the paperwork.”

Dean nodded, closing his eyes and trying once again to shut out the world.

~~~

Well, Dean's okay. Ish. Not really. Not at all. But he's breathing. That's something. Bobby's trying so hard to get to through to him. What would you do if you were in Bobby's position? Do you think anything he's saying is getting past Dean's pain?

Next chapter we return to the neglectful Sam. Is he finally gonna realize the price of so thoroughly cutting off his brother? We'll see tomorrow I suppose.

Please please keep all of your beautiful reviews and comments coming. You all have been so incredible and it means THE WORLD to us. I like to say comments bring back my will to live, and it is very much true.

As always, thanks so much for reading and God Bless. We'll most likely be back to our regularly scheduled Jamie tomorrow.

Love ya.

- Line